There is no 'Why' in Shakespeare

The question most reluctant Shakespeare students ask (aside from "What is he saying?") is "Why do we have to study this?"

When only a handful of the audience can even understand what is being said, why is Shakespeare still performed in every major and minor theater? If his work is supposed to be performed live, why is it studied as poetry? Why is he always wearing that Elizabethan frock enhancer? These and other Shakespearean 'why's are all valid questions. From the ModCon perspective, the 'why' is simple: Shakespeare is funnier than the best comics, spookier than the average goth, and sweeter than any pop song. His work still checks out, hundreds of years later.

Whether you agree with that or not, we all encounter Shakespeare's stories for the first time at some point in our lives. Maybe your parents took you to Shakespeare in the Park every summer when you were a kid, and you already enjoy his work. Or maybe the first time you encounter the Bard is in school, and a good chunk of your grade depends on what you think Hamlet means when he's talking about 'a nunnery.' When he uses such weird, dated language, it can be hard to understand how Shakespeare could possibly still be relevant today.

Forget about the Elizabethan frock enhancer for a second: William Shakespeare survived and thrived (off and on) during a plague, which happened during a time of extreme political changes. He gave very public criticisms about the ways his society was doing some things wrong, but he did it in a way that had everybody laughing. Depending on which scholars you ask, he probably smoked pot and was probably bisexual. So he was kind of like if Brendon Urie and Jon Stewart had a British baby, and the baby got lost traveling back in time to see which of Henry VIII's kids made it to the throne.

If you're an average, modern young person, if you have ever been infatuated with a boy and/or girl, if you have a sense of humor that errs on the side of toiletry, then you already have more in common with Shakespeare, the man, than the average button-down intellectual. He slaved over a parchment for you, specifically; you deserve to understand what the hell he was trying to say.

Shakespeare's words are beyond eloquent, whether he's delivering a vicious burn or telling a nasty joke, but the heart of the stories he chose to tell are timeless: betrayal, revenge, true love, true loss. Blood is spilled, careers are made, and no one escapes unscathed and/or unmarried.

Learning to 'speak Shakespeare' is much simpler than it seems when you keep in mind that he was a flesh-and-blood man. He created his stories by combining the fairy tales he heard growing up with the drama and romance he witnessed as a Most Favored Bestie to the queen. He wasn't some ancient oracle whispering secrets into a philosopher's ear: he was Jordan Peele whispering 'biiiitch' to Michael Key.